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What WERE They Thinking?

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31st January 2006

6:03am: Clark’s First Job.
Many comic fans don’t know this, but before he was a mild-mannered reporter, Martha Kent’s little boy made a good living… as a blackmailer.



He still gets checks from that particular Senator

From Action comics #1.

30th January 2006

5:49am: Proper Adult Escort.


Wait, so the guy won’t admit an underage, nubile girl traveling alone, but had she been with a “proper” escort it’s okay?

Do they also charge by the hour?

27th January 2006

5:50am: The LoShH Fashion Show Finale: The Swimsuit Competition.
Let's wrap up our fashion show with a look at what the well-dressed 30th Century teenages is wearing.

Our first contestant is Tasmia "Shadow Lass" Mallor. This Talokian Tease was the first Legionnaire to wear beachwear into combat. let's have a looksee, shall we?





Next up is that regal lady, Princess Projectra.



I actually do like this design, but its noteworthy for being one of the first, if not the first of the LoSH costumes that look like they were ordered from Fredricks of Winath.

This leaves us with the one you've all been waiting for... Saturn Girl's infamous pink bathing suit!



While very popular, I have to ask....




Are Titanians immune to extremes of temperature? Because I always thought space was supposed to be cold!

That's it for the fashion critiques for a while folks. Have a great weekend.

26th January 2006

6:12am: Casual X-Raying.


It’s not the first time Superman casually X-rays another male and it won’t be the last, so that doesn’t surprise me.

The fact that Ultra Boy would rather check out Clark than Lana? Yeah, that took me by surprise.

25th January 2006

6:15am: Best Friends 4 Ever!
You know, the Legion of Superheroes are really cool. Where else can a teenager like Superboy hang out with kids with powers like himself, go on wacky adventures, get trapped to die a slow lingering death…



Wow. Apparently torture of prisoners is legal in the 30th Century.

24th January 2006

5:46am: Again, I Have To Wonder…
Did no one at DC realize what these slang phrases meant.



Sorry Lana honey, it looks like he only has eyes for Thom.

23rd January 2006

5:52am: Here’s a New Side of Uncle Scrooge!
Ever wonder what Scrooge McDuck did in his free time?

Well, so did an aptly named underling:



Well, that was more than I needed to know, that’s for sure…

22nd January 2006

10:01pm: Another TypoLad Guest Post...
This time I paid a visit to the nice folks at "Suspension of Disbelief". The topic was the recent issue of Action Comics featuring SUperman going to someone's house for Friday Night Shabbos dinner.

Really.

http://comicfacts.blogspot.com/2006/01/guess-whos-coming-to-shabbos-dinner.html

20th January 2006

5:44am: What The Well Dressed Master of Martial Arts is Wearing.
Any Legion fan knows that Krate Kid was a master of every Martial Art in the galaxy, able to hold his own with Superboy.

But do they know what he did to pay the bills?



Val Armor – Karate Pimp!

19th January 2006

5:55am: Did They Just Not Know?


Did the writer and editor of Adventure Comics # 376 just not know what “confirmed bachelor” was a euphemism for?

Or is Reep the first DC hero to ever come out on panel?

18th January 2006

5:50am: Kal- El, You’re Kinda Creeping Me Out.


“Hmmm… you look great in my Superboy costume!”

How narcissistic is it to have the hots for someone cosplaying as yourself?

17th January 2006

12:22pm: Bonus Post: Asleep at the Switch.
For some odd reason,I love this one.

Bruce Wayne hears gunfire and leaps into the limo to get in costume…



…but he puts on Superman’s costume.

Really. The top half of the page is Superman elsewhere. For some reason, the artist decided Bruce would put on big blue’s costume.

Top of the next page, he’s in his own threads.

I dunno, maybe it’s Hypertime.

Or maybe I'm just a geek.

-----------

In other news, I was talking to a friend last night and he got an odd look on his face. When I asked him what was up he told me that he just realized I could have used the computers he was given that day. However, since he could not think of anyone, he decided to have some fun with a sledghammer.

One of them was a one year old G5 tower.

What was he thinking?

13th January 2006

5:45am: Double Your Pleasure, Double Your Fun!
In an odd costuming moment, Duo Damsel retains her full body costume the entire time she’s a member of the Legion, and then starts showing up in peek-a-boo outfits once she’s married and off the team.



How can you not love a comic where a woman gets in a catfight with herself?

12th January 2006

9:18am: Why? Why Did They Leave?


They refuse to set foot in the US until they can get married like any other couple in love!

11th January 2006

6:58am: Simce Today's Post Was "spoiled"....
Since today's original post was given away in the comments, I decided to post a second.

Ready for a blast from the past?

Does anyone remember this?



The BQ Test!

(BQ = Brotherhood Quotent)

This test frightens me. It really does.

Mainly because “Jews”, “Negros” and “Catholics” are on the same like/dislike test as “alligators” and “spiders”.

“Well, I do hate me some spiders, but not as much as one of them Jews!”
6:47am: Follow Up On Color Kid!
Remember how yesterday I commented on the rejection of Color Kid from the LoSH? How he got the brush-off and was sent to the Subs?

Well, a short while later I bet B5 was kicking himself:



How amazingly useful is that?

Never mind that someone with the ability to alter the visible spectrum would not actually be able to effect the actual radiation emitted by Krptonite. Forget the terrible science.

How many times has Superboy been jobbed due to Green K?

Now imagine that you reject someone who has the power to alter Kryptonite.

Man, I bet Superboy kicked someone’s butt later.

10th January 2006

6:50am: The Legion is Messed Up, You Know?


Wait, so they’re rejects, but they do fine work?

Admit it Braniac 5, the only reason you guys don’t take the Subs seriously is you don’t want to admit that you made a mistake not taking them.

Oh and if I were on a team that included Matter-Eater Lad and Bouncing Boy, I sure as heck wouldn’t be throwing any stones…

9th January 2006

7:19am: This One’s Just Painful.
Imagine if David Duke came out with a children's book featuring an African-American protagonist....



Roy “Girls are Stooopid” Thomas presents a book where the female Avengers are manipulated by a militant feminist, in one of the most painful to read stories ever

(I'm not saying Roy Thomas is quite on that level, but this book doesn't help argue that he ain't!)

In a rare examination of actual content, the story goes like this - The female Avengers, plus then non-member Black Widow, are convinced by The Valiryke (Not the one from The Defenders - they just look alike) that they need to replace The Avengers because they are men and are therfore unfit.

Because yes, that is what feminism is all about.

(Although one could argue that Clint and Pietro deserved it, at least.)

6th January 2006

5:53am: LoSHFS: You Tell Me:
What do you call it when you put a Native American girl in a skimpy fringed outfit and give her the power of “super-tracking”?

Would you call that tokenism?



Oh Dawny-baby, don’t be that way!

It is Jim MacQuarrie’s opinion that there are several 40 year old men with a Native American fetish thanks to LoSH.

Here’s a close up -



Why is “Gypsys Tramps & Thieves” running through my head now?

Oh and for the record? Her outfits only get worse:

5th January 2006

5:45am: Classic Kid Flash
Our story starts as three kids find out that Wally West is Kid Flash.

How?

You see, they’re handicapped. One kid is deaf, one is blind, and one is mute. In comic books, this means all their other senses are intensified, which makes them catch Wally’s little “tells”.

Wait a minute…



That third kid seems pretty chatty for a mute, don't he?

4th January 2006

6:52am: One Sadistic Bastard.
I just want to point out that the following panel is not out of context.



The Flash is attacked by The Golden Glider - for whom I confess that I've always had a soft spot (She’s a psycho skater, what’s not to like?).

Anyways as part of her master plan, she straps some "rocket skates" on him and tries to launch him into orbit (which is a reoccurring deathtrap of the Rogues. Captain Boomerang tried this the first three times he showed up!).

Flash manages to snag himself on a building and use centrifugal force and super-speed to make the skates snap off.

Cool beans Flash!

Never mind the fact that the super-fast skates went zooming off at practically escape velocity, killing many and destroying property, at least you’re free!

My hero!

3rd January 2006

6:49am: He’s an Earthquake in Pants!


Horrible accents aside, isn’t that just the best nickname?

Sounds vaguely unwholesome, too!

2nd January 2006

10:54am: Three Panels, Dissected.
So this bad guy has the Golden Age Flash trapped…



Hey, that’s a great idea!



Wait, so “colorless” means pink? And for that matter, would an “odorless” gas induce coughs?



But… if it’s colorless and odorless, how can he be sure that it’s dissipated?

This guy is nowhere near as good a planner as I thought in panel one.

30th December 2005

5:58am: LoSH Fashion Friday: The Gim Avenger!
Poor Gim gets a hard time from a lot of people. He’s never seemed the brightest member of the Legion. I mean, the guy married a Durlan spy thinking she’s his best friend who he’s pinned for forever and doesn’t notice? Tch.

Plus, there’s the fact that when he designed his new costume, he left something out:



Gim? Dude? You forgot your pants again.

29th December 2005

6:38am: Querel, You’re Creeping Me Out Here.


Why is Braniac 5 watching two Legionnaires that are on leave?

In their undies?

With no indication that they are aware he’s watching them?

Superboy, you shouldn’t be worried about it getting him “down”…
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